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The Word 9
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The Word 9 (Disk 2 of 2).adf
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09-waffles_on.txt
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09-waffles_on.txt
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1996-01-17
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152 lines
|1-Mammoth waffles
No they arent a new snack to be had at dinner, this is me just generally
typing anything that comes into my head, its a good way of getting
inspiration for articles (or not as the case may be).
Well, soon be christmas, loads of kiddies are expecting Sega Saturns
with loads of games, dads will get completely pissed up and sit in front
of the sofa watching the telly. Your family (who you haven`t seen for
the last 11 months) descend on your doorstep for a week, its bedlam
round the house, you spend too much, you eat too much, drink too much, I
personally think its lost its meaning. Okay churches are normally
packed at christmas its just the ethical sense has completely gone, its
now an excuse to get fat, pissed and knackered at the same time. The
telly is no better, have you seen the films that are on over chrimble?
Sister Act, Hook, Ace Ventura etc etc plus you have the so-called
"Christmas specials" of the comedy and variety programmes. I would`nt
mind but christmas lasts just one day! Thats it! One day, all the
build up, the excitement and its gone in 24 hours flat.
I`m not anti-christmas at all dont get me wrong, its just so hyped up
out of all proportion and its only going to get worse, but the worst
thing about christmas for me is seeing Cilla Black in a santa costume
and fishnets. PASS THE SICKBUCKET!!!
What else can I go on about, oh yeh, anyone watch Men Behaving Badly
when it was on? I bought the videos of the last series and watched them
for five hours, fuck where they funny. The best episode of all was when
Dorothy had her appendix out and Gary was looking after her, add to that
Tony needing glasses and you have me curled up with laughter. I`ve also
got the new Bottom live vid, the big number 2 tour, its not as funny as
the first one but it is still riotously violently funny. I wont say
anything, just get it and watch it!!
Think I shall do a few silly lists now, try and top this lot!!
Top five ways to get from Croydon to Ipswich by train
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1 - Croydon to Victoria, Victoria to Liverpool Street, Liverpool St
to Ipswich
2 - Croydon to London Bridge, London Bridge to Kings Cross, Kings
Cross to Peterborough, Peterborough to Ipswich
3 - Croydon to Brighton, Brighton to Southampton, Southampton to
Waterloo, Waterloo to Euston, Euston to Manchester, Manchester to
Sheffield, Sheffield to Derby, Derby to Cambridge, Cambridge to
Ipswich
(This is getting silly, time for a more sensible one)
Five silly road names in Croydon
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1 - Woodbrick Road
2 - Dickford Lane
3 - Itchiarse Place
4 - Hairyballs Road
5 - Cocksucker Lane
Five things to do when you win the lottery
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1 - Go on the Lottery live programme and snog Anthea Turner
2 - Finance a programme to ban Andi Peters and Chris Akabusi
3 - Retire to a tax-free place and spend lots of money
4 - Go into a supermarket and ask for the "King Size" of everything
5 - Set up loads of Amigas linked to BBSes and fuck the phone bill
Five teams I hope Ipswich avoid in the F.A Cup
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1 - Newcastle
2 - Man Utd
3 - Stockport
4 - Wrexham
5 - Norwich
(Anyone else we can handle!)
I`ve read in one of the computer trade mags that a virus writer on the
PC got eighteen months for writing viruses that screwed up an entire
system in Reading. The guy (who goes by the name of the Red Baron) said
he did it because he hated computers, if he hated them so much why did
he get so proficient a coder that he could write viruses then? Cut the
fuckers hands off! Virus writers should be shot in my opinion, all they
are creating is trouble for other users, you should see my PC bootup at
work, I have a tool called Norton Antivirus which scans for 5000
different viruses on our LAN machine and my PC on my desk. Dont worry
folks, I only use my PC for mailing purposes and word-processing my
timesheets, in fact my PC backdrop is a bitmap of an Amiga 4000 running
Lightwave, it pisses the PC bods off no end!
The difference between PC and Amiga viruses is that PC viruses have more
places to hide, they get onto a network system and it creates hell for
everyone, it can worm its way anywhere where as an Amiga (bless her)
virus it can only go from machine to machine, and if you have a decent
anti-virus bootup you should be okay, I always format my disks with
Xcopy and anti-virus onto the boot, best be safe than sorry.
Note - I`ve just seen the F.A Cup draw, Ipswich V Blackburn, did`nt want
to go to Wembley anyway.......
Anyway, apart from watching the draw I was watching that programme The
Queen Phenomenon about the band and how they have lived on after Freddie
Mercury`s death in 1991, and its amazing that the fan club still meets
to celebrate Queens music. Being a guitarist myself I do like a lot of
Queens stuff and I still headbang to Bohemian Rhapsody, enjoy the bass
line in Another one Bites the Dust etc... They are not in my top five
bands, I would say they are seventh in my list. Freddie was a great
performer, who can forget Live Aid when he sang to the audience and they
sang back. The superb Radio Ga-Ga, in fact they did their 20 minutes
without a soundcheck, brilliant or what! In Rio when he walked out at
the Maracana in front of 200,000 people with holding an unfolded Union
Jack behind him, he turned round and had a Brazil flag with him as well,
what an ambassador. In Budapest he sang Bohemian Rhapsody in Hungarian
which went down well, overall they were (are still are) a stadium rock
band. Their new album comes out soon, I think its called "This Could Be
Heaven" and it contains Freddie Mercurys last ever works, recorded a few
weeks before he died. I for one shall buy it as the programme played
some songs are they were superb, all together now....
Nothing really matters, anyone can see
Nothing really matters
Nothing really matters
to me
(Cue lowering of heads and banging of gong)
God I cant think of owt to write, ah yeh, this cold grip has got the
country`s bollocks in a vice has`nt it? Here in deepest darkest Croydon
theres about eight inches (oo-er) snow on the ground, its havoc for the
traffic, people slip over, its bloody freezing and I LOVE IT. I am one
of these sad acts that hate summer, a boiling hot day does my head in,
and now its freezing I am in my element. All those who moan about a
cold winter can bog off, you`ve had your weather, I am having mine now.
Think I shall go out and snowbathe in the garden....
End